Rock Star Shenanigans: Inside the World of Captain Chemical
In the kaleidoscopic world of indie rock, few bands match the eccentricity and raw, unadulterated fun of Captain Chemical. Fronted by the enigmatic Captain Chemical himself, aka 'Captain Chemical', this band blends absurdity with musical genius, creating a sound that's as unpredictable as it is entertaining.
The Intergalactic Disco Cowboy: Captain Chemical Unmasked
Captain Chemical, real name unknown, is an intergalactic space cowboy with a flair for the dramatic and the absurd. His style, a wild fusion of disco glamour and cowboy ruggedness, makes him an unforgettable figure on stage. His journey from a periodic table-themed party's wild night to becoming the embodiment of 'chemical chaos' is a tale as enigmatic as his music. Rumor has it that his alter ego was born from a science experiment gone awry, but true to their style, the band keeps the mystery alive.
From Disco to Indie: The Evolution of a Rock Legend
The band claims a history spanning back to the disco era, with Captain Chemical's persona taking inspiration from Root Boy Slim, a legend in the Washington DC music scene. Over the years, they have evolved from their underground beginnings into a more refined yet equally outlandish version of themselves, now delighting a new generation of fans.
Washington DC to Arizona: Tracing the Band's Cosmic Footprints
While their sound might seem otherworldly, Captain Chemical's roots are firmly planted on Earth, with Washington DC being their initial launching pad. However, the band's current iteration draws heavily from the Arizona music scene, infusing their music with a blend of desert madness and whimsical absurdity.
Musical Comedy and Cosmic Nonsense: The Captain Chemical Signature
Their music is a rollicking journey through humanity's most laughable moments. With tracks like "Captain’s Alien Abduction" and "Rat Trap In the Glory Hole," they explore the outer limits of musical storytelling, often blurring the lines between reality and the absurd.
Genre-Defying Soundscapes: An Indie Music Odyssey
Captain Chemical is known for their genre-defying approach, often mixing unlikely musical styles to create something entirely new. Their creative process is akin to a game, merging disparate genres like yacht rock and gangsta rap into a psychedelic, Zappa-esque experience.
Beyond the Laughter: The Serious Side of Captain Chemical
While their music often focuses on the ludicrous, there's a depth to Captain Chemical that goes beyond mere comedy. They've faced real-life challenges, like the severe stroke of their original drummer, Douggie Dealer, which put a pause on their 2023 activities. This adversity has only fueled their creative fire, leading to new music and plans for a world tour in 2024.
Captain Chemical's Future: New Sounds, New Adventures
As they prepare for their new album "Dumbstruck" and the accompanying tour, Captain Chemical continues to push the boundaries of indie music. Their upcoming tracks promise a blend of humor, social commentary, and the signature Captain Chemical quirkiness.
A Legacy of Laughs and Lessons
When the final chapter of Captain Chemical is written, it will undoubtedly be a story filled with laughter, outrageous antics, and a unique perspective on the human experience. Through their music, they've not only entertained but also offered a satirical lens on life's absurdities.
In the end, Captain Chemical isn't just a band; they're a phenomenon – a cosmic joke with a rocking soundtrack, teaching us to laugh at the world and ourselves.
Interview with Captain Chemical
In this band, who's the rock star and who's just there for the snacks?
CC: Because our songs are so stupid, we have to use stage names. It’s like being in the Witness Protection Program. So I’m Captain Chemical, lead idiot of this circus. I play keyboards, bass, a little bit of guitar, and do vocals, of a sort.
HH: I’m Hozzy Hashbourne. If you hear mistakes on guitar, that’s me. I’ll sing a little too.
MM: I’m Medicine Man, the new kid on the cell block. I’ve got drums, plus mojo, juju, and voodoo.
Can you paint a wild picture of Captain Chemical's style? Think intergalactic space cowboy meets disco king!
HH: Describe our style?
MM: I don’t think that’s possible.
CC: All I can say is, C+C Music Factory had a song called "Things That Make You Go Hmmm." Every one of our songs could be called “Things That Make You Go WTF.”
The origin story of Captain Chemical - was it a science experiment gone funky, or just a wild night at a periodic table-themed party?
CC: Like all ancient mysteries, our origins are obscured in murky depths of time.
HH: I wasn’t there at the beginning, but the name “Captain *Chemical* does imply a certain level of substance abuse.
CC: Well, we do have a song called “Don’t Fear The Reefer.” But then we also have “Toad Licking,” “Butt Chugging,” “Eating Tide Pods,” and “Bottles of the Apocalypse.” So the ‘Chemical’ part of the name isn’t about drugs per se. It’s about anything that causes the human brain to malfunction. I suppose that could include some substances on the periodic table of elements. Maybe silicon, lead, or sulfur.
MM: Definitely not Einsteinium. Only substances that result in people doing something stupid.
CC: In a way, our song “When Your Tits Explode” is about silicon abuse.
HH: But don’t forget about “Lawn Chair Larry.” That dude got high without any substances at all.
Is it true that Captain Chemical has been rocking out since the disco era, or is that just a myth from the groovy grapevine?
CC: Did disco start a hundred years ago? The Captain Chemical persona was created in 1978, inspired by the late, great Root Boy Slim. Root was an absolute legend in the Washington DC music scene for his overindulgent decadence. But the Captain set out to be even more over-the-top than Root Boy. That had the effect of driving our music even deeper underground. Imagine, if you will, being a 12-year-old boy, experiencing the joy of discovering adult guilty pleasures like porn, your parents’ liquor cabinet, and songs about all manner of debauchery. That’s the sort of teenaged giddiness with which we approached this project. And as a teenager, you don’t really impose any limits on yourself. So it was as extreme as you might imagine.
HH: But that was Captain Chemical 1.0. This is 2.0 We’re much more mature now.
CC: Yeah. Now in 2023, we’re like 15-year-old boys.
Are you telling me that the epicenter of your cosmic sound waves is actually Washington DC? Not an alien discotheque?
CC: I’m from DC. It’s a good place to be from.
MM: Actually, Captain Chem 2.0 is all about Arizona. Hozzy and I are Arizonans. Our brains were fried early in the desert sun.
CC: In DC, the madness is real. In Arizona, the madness is still fun. That’s why I moved here.
HH: Arizona is where madness ages and ferments, like a cheap wine.
Epic Band Evolution Tales: So, from sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll to “slightly less extreme but still wild”—how did this transformation happen? Did someone lose a bet, or was it just a collective mid-life crisis?
CC: We think of ourselves as a musical celebration of human stupidity. Our most popular track is “Captain’s Alien Abduction,” which is a first hand account of an alien abduction. Just think about the reality of that for a second… If aliens picked up a human at random, are they more likely to grab a Nobel Prize winner, or some horny drunken idiot? We explore the obvious answer in the song. Our hero gets high and tries to seduce alien chicks until the aliens realize that there’s no intelligent life on this planet and send his ass back. That’s one example of where we dwell. And of course, 90% of the time, it’s sex, drugs, or alcohol that drives the stupidity, so our songs are, in fact, usually still about sex and drugs and rock and roll, even after all these years.
HH: Don’t get us started on gun accidents that result in the sudden removal of genitalia.
MM: Happens a lot more often than you might think. Trust me, I’m a medical professional. I see it all.
Musical Genre Roulette: Your music spans a crazy range of genres. Do you throw darts at a music genre board to decide what's next, or is it more like musical chairs with instruments?
HH: It’s almost a game now. Take “Weasel Poop Coffee.” It started with the me and the Captain discussing what the worst music genres were. I said yacht rock, he said gansta rap. So of course, we had to do a song that used both genres.
CC: But neither is a native style for us, so we ended up missing both marks. The yacht rock part came out in this dreamy psychedelic style, kind of along Dandy Warhols lines, while the rap part ended up sounding like Frank Zappa. We couldn’t find our way, so the song ended up ten minutes long, sounding like neither yacht rock nor gansta rap. That’s a good example of why Captain Chemical’s musical genre is best described as WTF.
HH: We’ve got a new album coming out in 2024, and it has a song in every known style of music. We’ve already got funk, vocal pop, grunge, 60s spy movie music, rock, nuevo flamenco, techno, and the album is only half recorded at this point.
MM: Maybe they can use it to teach students different types of music.
CC: Yes! I can see it now: “Kids, this song ‘Attack of Zombie Iguanas’ blends late 1980s style quarter note chunk dance rhythms with 1960s style three-part pop vocal harmonies.”
HH: “Pay no attention to the lyrics, class.”
CC: The zombie iguanas attack really happened. I’m not kidding. You’ll learn all about it when the song comes out.
What are your musical influences? Sounds like you’re somewhere between Mojo Nixon, Weird Al, Tenacious D, and Spinal Tap.
CC: I would say that Taylor Swift is a huge influence on us. Not so much in the music itself; in fact, we don’t sound anything like her. But it’s more about us keeping up with her. She has like five billion fans around the world, and we’re a few short of that at the moment. But her competition spurs us on. Like when the woman in Florida shoved an alligator down her pants to hide it from the cops, we wrote a song that we called “We Are Never Ever Ever Ever Shoving An Alligator Down Your Pants Together.” We were pretty sure that would be our breakthrough hit, but the title was too long for the song submission form. So we ended up with just “Gator In Your Pants,” and it got 4.9999 billion fewer streams than we should have. All because of the song name. But that‘s how it always goes. T-Swift is the big dog, so she got to use the long name. We got screwed.
Your guitar riffs are as wild as a noodle dance at a pasta party. What's the secret ingredient?
HH: For me on guitar, I have to say my top influence is Lil Pump. He’s--
CC: Whoa, wait, Hozzy. I would have thought you were more of a Big Pump guy.
HH: Well yeah, but Lil Pump is—
MM: He doesn’t even play guitar, Hozzy.
Crafting Comedy in Lyrics: When you're writing lyrics about humanity's finest (read: dumbest) moments, what's the secret sauce? Is it a late-night comedy marathon, or do these gems just hit you while you're in the shower?
CC: It's actually a lifestyle. We all keep our eyes and ears open for the stupidity du jour, and rarely a day goes by without some sort of Captain Chem-worthy story turning up. Even better, our fans have caught on, and they’ll send us song suggestions. “Rabid Chihuahuas On Dope” began as a suggestion from a young fan in Alabama who wrote a comment on YouTube, saying “You guys do whacky songs. Can you do one about a rabid hyena on drugs that attacks you walking down the sidewalk?” We engaged the research department, and while we didn’t find any absurd hyena attack news, we did uncover the tragic feral chihuahua problem plaguing Maryvale, Arizona. And the rest is history.
MM: If a song is just about some fantasy, that doesn’t work. Truth is stranger than fiction, right?
CC: So true. Seems like in every other song, I’m saying “you can’t make this shit up, people.”
HH: So the stories are usually true, but we’re not afraid to embellish a little bit. The alligator in the pants thing really happened, but the Captain spends half the song talking about the risks of putting alligators down your pants, and what could happen if you try it.
CC: My favorite thing lyrically isn’t necessarily telling the stories per se, but rather making snide comments about them.
HH: I actually learn things from our songs. Like in “Lawn Chair Larry,” I never really thought about how you would get back down if you took off with 50 weather balloons tied to your lawn chair.
MM: But the actual guy did consider the problem before he took off, so he shrewdly brought a gun with him to pop out the balloons when it was time to come down. Good thinking, there. What could possibly go wrong?
CC: So, we like to think of ourselves not as musicians, but as educators. That’s our message to the world.
If I dive into your lyrics, will I find a profound message or just a shopping list for your next interstellar party?
CC: You will find a deeply profound and enlightening message: “Don’t try this at home.“
Audience Reaction Rundown: Teenagers love your shock value, and older folks dig the tunes. Any particularly wild or weird fan reactions that have stuck with you? Bonus points for stories that made you say, "Well, didn't see that coming!"
HH: It’s the audience that doesn’t see what’s coming. You really shouldn’t just spring a Captain Chemical song on somebody, cold. Because the music generally sounds pretty “normal,” they might listen for a while thinking “Oh, this is nice” until they hear some lyric. Then they’’ll flip out and say, “Wait, what the hell? Is this song actually about a one-legged stripper?”
CC: So it’s best to tell them right up front: “Look, this song might be offensive. It’s called ‘Rat Trap In the Glory Hole’. ” And they’ll go, “Oh, that’s nice. Wait, what the hell?”
MM: 17-year-old boys don’t have that reaction, though. They respond more like, “This song is so cool. It’s called ‘Eating Tide Pods.’ Let’s try that!”
HH: Yeah, we’re a healthy influence on today’s youth.
CC: Especially the ones who want to get clean.
Seriousness in Music (Or the Lack Thereof): In a world filled with serious tunes, you chose the path of hilarity. Was there ever a temptation to go 'deep and meaningful', or is it all about keeping a straight face while singing about goats in politics?
CC: I love it when people say things like, “your song about stupid people shopping at Walmart is hilarious. But it’s just a joke song.” My response is, “what, is there some law against music being fun?”
HH: There’s so much negativity and BS going on in the world. When you put on your headphones, do you really need to hear more about that, or would you rather escape into a world of… I dunno, mindless entertainment?
CC: Politics is particularly broken these days. So I totally get why people would vote for a beer-drinking goat to be their mayor. That’s a completely rational response to me.
MM: Can’t be much worse than what we’ve already got.
Indie Music's Wild Side: You've seen the indie scene morph over the years. If you were the indie music king for a day, what royal decree would you make? More cowbell, perhaps?
MM: You can never go wrong with more cowbell.
CC: I can think of some Spotify reforms around royalties…
HH: Hey, wait. Stop. You might accidentally talk about something serious.
CC: Whew, thank you Hozzy. I almost went off the rails there.
Wise Words for Indie Newbies: For those starting in the indie jungle, any sage advice? Maybe a secret handshake or a 'do not do' list that involves fireworks and banjos?
MM: Put pictures of naked people on your cover art. Sex sells.
CC: But apparently, sex and drugs and rock and roll does not.
HH: So whatever you do, don’t be like us.
Do you guys take anything seriously, or is life just one big cosmic joke with a soundtrack?
MM: Not really.
CC: Well, one very serious thing did happen in 2023. Our original drummer – Douggie Dealer – been playing with him since 1980, he even moved to Arizona with me to keep the band going. Douggie had a very severe stroke and almost died.
HH: Yeah, that was horrible.
CC: He was in the hospital for months, followed by months of rehab. They got him up and walking, but when they finally released him, he wasn’t really able to play drums anymore. So the band was on hold for most of 2023. We just didn’t know what the final outcome would be.
HH: Seriously, the whole situation sucked.
CC: Ironically, 2023 was our best year ever from a streaming and audience growth perspective. We were getting new fans, even though we couldn’t play live, or record, or do anything at all, really. Eventually, Hozzy and I decided to add Medicine Man to the band so we could get some mojo back. Now we’ve got a new album and a 2024 world tour…
I heard about your 'world tour' - is it true you're a big hit in Russia, or is that just another one of your interplanetary pranks?
HH: That’s another crazy but true story.
CC: It’s unreal – one of those things that could only happen in the digital music era. When Captain Chem 2.0 put out our first album “Ain’t Dead Yet,” a guy named Sergei in Russia picked up on it and began communicating with us via Facebook. He liked us, and posted some stuff about us on VK, which is the top social media platform in Russia. As a way of saying thank you, when we finished our video for the song “Toad Licking” we gave Sergei exclusive international rights to show the video for 24 hours before it went live on YouTube. He appreciated that, so we then sent him a pre-release file of our song “Beer Drinkin’ Goat.” Sergei really loved that one, and he posted it to a blues-rock page on VK that has tens of thousands of followers. Apparently, there’s a pretty active blues-rock scene in Russia; who knew? Anyway, “Beer Drinkin’ Goat” got thousands of hits in just a week, and we started thinking about the feasibility of a Russia tour. But at the end of that week, Russia invaded Ukraine, and they cut off Internet access for most Russians a few days later. We haven’t been able to communicate with Sergei for almost two years now.
MM: So for all we know, “Beer Drinkin’ Goat” could be a triple platinum hit in Russia right now.
HH: Vladimir Putin probably allowed the song to stay up in Russia just to illustrate how stupid Americans are.
CC: No doubt, ten million streams by now. And just our luck, to be a propaganda tool for some totalitarian government. Actually, if you haven’t heard any of our tracks, I’d recommend starting with “Beer Drinkin’ Goat.” It has everything – true story, drunken goats, a love triangle, castration, politics, intrigue – all in a musical style we like to call Western Psychedelic. It’s what people are listening to in Russia. Ten million Russians can’t all be wrong.
State of the Indie Union: As indie music veterans, what's your take on the current indie scene? Is it all rainbows and unicorns, or are there dragons to be slain?
HH: Sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns.
MM: And Tide Pods.
CC: Oof. I would say there isn’t one “indie music scene.” There are thousands of sub-scenes, varying widely based on what artists are trying to accomplish. If you’re like us and you gave up on the business side of music before you even started, then you can really thrive as an indie artist because there really are no restrictions on what you can do. I mean, we actually published a song called “Rat Trap In The Glory Hole,” and it became one of our most popular tracks. Try doing that as a commercial artist! However, if you’re trying to use music as a platform to communicate some deep, heartfelt messages to the world, you may find yourself frustrated because it’s really hard to get widely heard.
HH: A huge marketing budget helps.
CC: Along with a team of professional promoters. And I don’t mean bot accounts.
HH: I think you need to play live to build a real audience.
CC: That’s certainly one way to do it. But as the number of live music venues shrinks, and ever more people just listen to DJs rather than bands, playing live has gotten harder to do.
MM: Having a niche helps. You can end up with a small but loyal fan base.
CC: That is true. Just stay out of the “multi-genre songs about stupid people doing stupid things while under the influence” niche. That’s our space.
Could you regale us with tales of the legendary odyssey known as the Wall-Mart Shopping Experience?
MM: Everybody can relate to that song and video.
HH: There’s a web site called “people of Walmart.” All we did was set that to music.
CC: No, no, that’s a common misconception. The Captain Chemical song is actually about a different store called Wall-Mart (two Ls), which specializes in selling all kinds of walls. Brick wall, stone wall, Berlin Wall, Great Wall of China… But people still go shopping there wearing ridiculous clothes, T-shirts about farting, and showing their butt cracks.
The Captain's Crystal Ball: What's in the stars for Captain Chemical? Any plans to conquer new musical worlds or perhaps a themed album about alien goats? We're all ears!
HH: We’re in the middle of recording a new album called Dumbstruck. That should come out in mid 2024, but we’ve started releasing some songs from it as singles. The first one out is called “Dude Needs A Job,” about a guy who applied for a job at a restaurant, filled out the application with his real name and address, then turned around and robbed the place.
MM: It takes a special kind of stupid to do something like that. The kind of stupid that gets you into a Captain Chemical song.
CC: It’s yet another true story. That song got its world premiere on the Indie Music Hunt, which is a daily streaming show on YouTube that features indie music, generally of very high quality. I don’t know why they put our crap on there, but they did. We also joined Only The Label, which is like a sort of indie artist musical collective. Some very talented people are involved. One of our labelmates is Tracy Cloud, who’s a real country singer in Nashville. She foolishly agreed to sing backing vocals for us on a pop song we had in the can, unreleased, for a year now. We’re going to unleash that one in January or February, but sorry – we’re not giving out any spoilers or teasers about it yet.
HH: Fourteen separate vocal tracks on that song! It sounds like the Beach Boys on steroids.
MM: It’s Captain Chemical, backed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
CC: I’m pretty excited by the whole album because the songs are really musically diverse and lyrically entertaining. The album will have something to offend everyone. But the track we’re going to promote hardest is “Rabid Chihuahuas On Dope.” I mean, the world really should be concerned about the wild chihuahua menace. So our song is a kind of public service announcement.
HH: They’re everywhere, man.
MM: There’s no escaping them.
HH: Five pounds of evil.
CC: Get off my lawn! Get off my leg!
Legacy of Laughs: When the history of Captain Chemical is written, what do you hope it says? Aside from the obvious "They came, they saw, they made us snort our drinks from laughter," of course!
CC: Well, we already know the book title: “What Could Possibly Go Wrong? The Captain Chemical Story”
MM: I thought it was going to be “Who Let The Lunatics Out”?
HH: No, that’s the blockbuster movie.
CC: So I guess that leaves “What The Hell Was THAT All About” for the Netflix series.
Captain Chemical Socials
Lyric Review of Beer Drinkin’ Goat by Captain Chemical
The song "Beer Drinkin’ Goat" is a humorous and rather outlandish tale set in Lajitas, a town in West Texas. It revolves around a series of goats named Clay Henry, famous for their unusual habit of drinking beer. The narrative is structured as a light-hearted, almost anecdotal story, blending elements of local legend and over-the-top humor.
The song begins by setting the scene in the hot, dusty streets of Lajitas, where the sun is oppressive. The focus quickly shifts to the main character, Clay Henry, a goat known for its love of beer. The lyrics humorously depict Clay Henry as a prolific beer drinker, allegedly consuming over 50 beers daily. This excessive drinking leads the goat to be humorously compared to an alcoholic.
As the song progresses, tourists are described as coming to witness the spectacle of the beer-drinking goat. The story takes a more whimsical turn when it's revealed that Clay Henry, due to his popularity and character, was elected mayor by the people of Lajitas.
Continuing the family legacy, Clay Henry Junior, the next in line, is described as inheriting both the role and the drinking habits of his father. However, the tale takes a dark twist with a fatal conflict between father and son over a female goat, reminiscent of a blues song narrative, as noted in the lyrics.
The story then moves on to Clay Henry the third, whose life also meets a grim fate when a jealous individual attacks him. Despite the brutality of the incident, the song maintains its lighthearted tone, ultimately suggesting that the legacy of the beer-drinking goats is a more appealing choice for leadership than traditional politicians.
Throughout, the chorus repeats the line "Beer drinkin’ goat," emphasizing the absurdity and humor of the situation. The song wraps up by reflecting on the three generations of these unique goats, cementing their legendary status in the local folklore.
Overall, the song is an amusing and exaggerated tale, rich in local color and humor, playing on the peculiar story of these beer-drinking goats and their unexpected place in the town's history and politics.
The Ballad of Clay Henry: Mayor of Lajitas
Fictional Story based on the lyrics
Created by Indie Mastered
Copyright Captain Chemical 2023
Chapter 1: The Legendary Arrival
In the sunbaked town of Lajitas, Texas, the most unusual event occurred. A goat, named Clay Henry, strolled into town with a swagger in his step and a thirst in his eyes. The townsfolk, weary from the relentless heat, were amused by this peculiar visitor. They soon discovered Clay Henry's extraordinary love for beer. The local bartender, chuckling, offered the goat a bottle, and to everyone's amazement, Clay Henry gulped it down like a seasoned pro.
Chapter 2: The Mayor of Mirth
Clay Henry quickly became a local celebrity. Tourists poured in, cameras ready, to witness the beer-drinking spectacle. The townspeople, seeing an opportunity, declared Clay Henry the honorary mayor of Lajitas. The goat, unfazed by his new title, continued his daily routine of sipping beers and entertaining the crowd. Elections were never more straightforward, with Clay Henry winning by unanimous cheers each time.
Chapter 3: A Family Tradition
As time passed, Clay Henry fathered a son, Clay Henry Junior, who inherited not only his father's name but also his penchant for beer. Junior, though, was a bit more rambunctious. The town's stories began to evolve, not just about one beer-drinking goat, but two. Father and son would often be seen clinking bottles, much to the amusement of onlookers.
Chapter 4: The Tragic Turn
One fateful day, a dispute over a lovely lady goat turned the humorous tale into a bluesy ballad. In a dramatic showdown, reminiscent of the old Western duels, Clay Henry and Junior locked horns. Sadly, the battle ended in tragedy, with Junior standing victorious. The town mourned the loss of their original mayor but respected the natural order, crowning Junior as the new beer-drinking mayor.
Chapter 5: The Third Generation
As years rolled by, Clay Henry the Third emerged, continuing the legacy. However, his reign faced a perilous challenge when a jealous rival, irked by the goat's popularity (and perhaps his impressive beer-drinking skills), made a dastardly move. In a scandalous act, the rival attacked Clay Henry the Third, leaving the town in shock. Yet, in true heroic fashion, Clay Henry the Third, though battered, continued his mayoral duties with a beer in his mouth and a tale that became legend.
Chapter 6: The Legacy Lives On
The story of the beer-drinking goats of Lajitas became a timeless one, filled with laughter, drama, and a touch of the blues. The town's visitors often left with a chuckle and a story to tell. As for the locals, they proudly boasted of their unique mayors, who, despite their quirks (and love for hops), brought a sense of unity and joy to the small Texas town.
Epilogue: The Toast of Lajitas
To this day, if you visit Lajitas, you'll hear tales of Clay Henry and his lineage. The townsfolk, with a twinkle in their eye, will raise a glass and say, "Here's to the beer-drinking goats, the true spirits of Lajitas!" And somewhere in the breeze, you might just hear the faint clink of a beer bottle, toasting to a legend that only a town like Lajitas could create.